Everywhere
you look around-on TV, social media, newspapers and billboards; there are
hi-flying talks of women’s equality. About how a ‘new era’ has ushered in
India, with women making their mark in all walks of life.
But amidst
all this talk of equality, liberty and emancipation, each one of us still privy
to regressive patriarchal practices. And what’s shocking is that you don’t need
to step into rural India to witness them; they’re very much a part and parcel
of our lives in so-called modern, urban India, and many of us (including women)
shockingly encourage them! Still not convinced? Well then, let’s take a look:-
1. The Big Fat
Indian Wedding!
As
responsible citizens of this great country, reading the newspaper is a must
every morning! Including the Sunday Paper and the wonderful Matrimonial
Section. If I had a rupee for every time I came across the line, “Wanted Slim,
Fair and Beautiful Bride”, I would probably be a millionaire by now! Not to
forget the incessant drills and parading that happens when a prospective groom
and his family come over to ‘see’ you! If the girl happens to be ‘dusky’,
‘fat’, ‘short’ or (gasp!) ‘Maanglik’, she will forever be the subject of
sympathy amongst family members, for failing to comply with the standards of
the ‘Indian Marriage Market’!
2. When
Marriage Becomes An Economic Transaction!
In most cities of the Hindi Heartland, you’ll find a brand new car that’s
stationed outside each wedding venue. Lest you think it’s the car in which the
betrothed couple is going to drive away post the ceremony, these are ‘special
gifts’ from the girl’s family to the guy’s family. Because getting your son a
woman who’ll remain devoted to him lifelong is just not enough! You also need a
car, cash and gold jewellery.
In short, dowry is a full-fledged practice, very much prevalent amongst
the most well-educated families, and no matter how many re-runs of Aamir Khan’s
‘Satyamev Jayate’ we watch on Sunday, all we’ll do is to send the SMS as
instructed, put up a social media post in support of women and then get back to
our usual ‘family traditions’ of receiving ‘gifts’ from the bride’s father!
3. Fast For Your Husband’s Long Life!
Of
course, a good wife fasts all day long for the health and long life of her
‘God’, lest any evil spirit befall him! While Karva Chauth happens to be the
most popular occasion in this realm (thanks to Bollywood!), there are several
other occasions like Teej (a rigorous 36-hour fast) and Joootiya (when a mother
fasts for her son, widely prevalent in states like Bihar and Uttar Pradesh). As
renowned journalist Sagarika Ghosh penned in one of her columns, “Men are
worshipped as husbands, brothers and sons. Devi-Puja is acceptable, but
Patni-Puja is frowned upon!”
4. The Black
Shroud Is Here To Engulf You!
Very
often on the sub-way, in buses and trains, you’ll find girls as young as 4 to 5
years being covered from head to toe, in that stifling black outfit (if you may
call it so; I on the other hand would prefer to call it a shroud). What’s
interesting to note is that their male siblings are conveniently clad in shorts
and t-shirts. So is there a point of printing those Social Science text books
that harp on and on about ‘the Indian constitution bestowing women’s equality’?
What notion of gender equality will these young boys grow up with, when they
see these regressive practices encouraged by parents?
5. The Quest For A Male Child!
Irrespective
of which economic strata or geographical zone you belong to, I’m fairly
confident that you’re aware of the ‘marathon run’ for a male child. Daughter-in-laws
are considered inadequate till they’ve successfully produced a virulent ‘male
heir’ to carry on the ‘family name’! And till then of course, the process of
production keeps going, the first daughter, the second daughter, the third
daughter and so on shrines are visited, astrologers are consulted, fervent prayers are
made and then God Almighty showers his blessings! It doesn’t strike anybody
then that of the 330 million Gods revered in India, more than half are female
deities!
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