5 Regressive Patriarchal Practices Still Followed In Urban India!

Everywhere you look around-on TV, social media, newspapers and billboards; there are hi-flying talks of women’s equality. About how a ‘new era’ has ushered in India, with women making their mark in all walks of life.

But amidst all this talk of equality, liberty and emancipation, each one of us still privy to regressive patriarchal practices. And what’s shocking is that you don’t need to step into rural India to witness them; they’re very much a part and parcel of our lives in so-called modern, urban India, and many of us (including women) shockingly encourage them! Still not convinced? Well then, let’s take a look:-

1. The Big Fat Indian Wedding!

As responsible citizens of this great country, reading the newspaper is a must every morning! Including the Sunday Paper and the wonderful Matrimonial Section. If I had a rupee for every time I came across the line, “Wanted Slim, Fair and Beautiful Bride”, I would probably be a millionaire by now! Not to forget the incessant drills and parading that happens when a prospective groom and his family come over to ‘see’ you! If the girl happens to be ‘dusky’, ‘fat’, ‘short’ or (gasp!) ‘Maanglik’, she will forever be the subject of sympathy amongst family members, for failing to comply with the standards of the ‘Indian Marriage Market’!

2. When Marriage Becomes An Economic Transaction!

In most cities of the Hindi Heartland, you’ll find a brand new car that’s stationed outside each wedding venue. Lest you think it’s the car in which the betrothed couple is going to drive away post the ceremony, these are ‘special gifts’ from the girl’s family to the guy’s family. Because getting your son a woman who’ll remain devoted to him lifelong is just not enough! You also need a car, cash and gold jewellery.

In short, dowry is a full-fledged practice, very much prevalent amongst the most well-educated families, and no matter how many re-runs of Aamir Khan’s ‘Satyamev Jayate’ we watch on Sunday, all we’ll do is to send the SMS as instructed, put up a social media post in support of women and then get back to our usual ‘family traditions’ of receiving ‘gifts’ from the bride’s father!

3. Fast For Your Husband’s Long Life!

Of course, a good wife fasts all day long for the health and long life of her ‘God’, lest any evil spirit befall him! While Karva Chauth happens to be the most popular occasion in this realm (thanks to Bollywood!), there are several other occasions like Teej (a rigorous 36-hour fast) and Joootiya (when a mother fasts for her son, widely prevalent in states like Bihar and Uttar Pradesh). As renowned journalist Sagarika Ghosh penned in one of her columns, “Men are worshipped as husbands, brothers and sons. Devi-Puja is acceptable, but Patni-Puja is frowned upon!”

4. The Black Shroud Is Here To Engulf You!

Very often on the sub-way, in buses and trains, you’ll find girls as young as 4 to 5 years being covered from head to toe, in that stifling black outfit (if you may call it so; I on the other hand would prefer to call it a shroud). What’s interesting to note is that their male siblings are conveniently clad in shorts and t-shirts. So is there a point of printing those Social Science text books that harp on and on about ‘the Indian constitution bestowing women’s equality’? What notion of gender equality will these young boys grow up with, when they see these regressive practices encouraged by parents?

5. The Quest For A Male Child!

Irrespective of which economic strata or geographical zone you belong to, I’m fairly confident that you’re aware of the ‘marathon run’ for a male child. Daughter-in-laws are considered inadequate till they’ve successfully produced a virulent ‘male heir’ to carry on the ‘family name’! And till then of course, the process of production keeps going, the first daughter, the second daughter, the third daughter and so on shrines are visited, astrologers are consulted, fervent prayers are made and then God Almighty showers his blessings! It doesn’t strike anybody then that of the 330 million Gods revered in India, more than half are female deities!

Top Signs That It Is Time To Give Up The Relationship

You have been in a relationship with this guy for over 5 years and now you feel suffocated? Do you feel something needs to be changed so that you can breathe?  Not many people are strong enough to acknowledge such feelings and ignore the signs. It is important to think about whether the relationship feels like a burden that you can no longer handle emotionally. In case you believe that ending the relationship will make you feel liberated and happier, it is because the relationship is not worth it. Here are some signs that it is time to give up on the relationship:

You prefer living in the past than the present
Do you like spending time thinking about the first time you met, the last time your partner took you out for a dinner or the last time brought a gift for you? If your answer to these questions is Yes, then  it is a clear signal that things are not fine. The memories are beautiful, but if you are trapped in the past because your present is not pleasant. It is the time to take an action.

The relationship brings you more sorrows than happiness
Life is a perfect mix of emotions like sorrows, happiness, disappointments and joys. But in case you feel that your relationship only brings pain and sorrow, it is the time to reconsider. Also, if you are always complaining to your best friend about how your relationship gives you pain, it is a sign that the relationship is not healthy. Being in such a relationship only gives you emotional and mental pain.

The partner wants to change you
When somebody loves you, they should love you for who you are, not what they want you to be. The partner must accept you the way you are. If your partner is always telling you how important it is for you to change, you seriously need to reconsider your decision. If you decide to change for your partner just to please them, sooner or later you will start feeling suffocated. In a relationship if one of the partners is trying to control your actions, it is an indication to walk out of it.

You keep justifying the action of your partner to yourself
If you are in a situation where you keep justifying the actions of your partner all the time, it is an indication that your partner doesn’t understand you. The fact that you have to justify his or her actions indicate that there is a lack of communication, which is the base of any healthy relationship. In this case it is advisable to consider whether it is best to be together or not.

Last but not the least, in case the relationship is not letting you grow, step out as soon as possible. It is part of human nature to grow and move forward. Being in a relationship with someone who has different preferences, beliefs and values is futile if you cannot reach at an agreement. 

Beauty Products Every Woman Should Own

Are you getting married and freaking out considering what beauty products should you add to your makeup bag? Wondering what will give you a perfect radiance and glow so that you look like a newlywed bride? With so many options out there, it is not easy to know exactly which beauty product should you buy or spend your hard earned money? To make this difficult task easier here are some critical items that must find place in your beauty collection:

1.  Tinted SPF: You cannot look perfect until your makeup has a strong foundation. No, it doesn’t mean that applying foundation is an absolute must. For some complexions, the semi-sheer tints work great and give the right amount of coverage and make your face shine. It is best to choose the product with SPF for better results.

2.  Concealer: It is best to rely on stick concealer as there is nothing better than this beauty product that can help you camouflage the skin imperfections. There is nothing better that can hide your blemishes, dark circles, redness and pimples. Try and become a pro at using concealer for masking the imperfections.

3.  Blush: Nothing makes you look beautiful than the perfect bright blush on the cheeks. Just remember to choose the neutral shade that doesn’t clash with the lipstick or the outfit. To chisel your bone structure, pick the nude pink hue. It will instantly give you a glow. If you want to try something different, try the bronzer matte.

4.  Highlighter: Some might say that it is unnecessary as it doesn’t give the visible results. But it is a myth. Well placed highlights actually make the difference. Use the highlighter pen over the cheekbones or the cupid bow of the upper lips and the corner of the eyes for an instant boost. One tip, prefer the highlighter with subtle sheen over the sparkle one.

5.  Mascara: Luscious and long lashes are similar to the cherry on the top of your preferred dessert. Add the oomph to your everyday look by simply applying mascara. Make your lashes fluffy and full by simply swiping few coats of mascara. It is best to use a coat of both lengthening and voluminizing formulations.

6.  Eye liner: To add drama to your look, there is nothing better than an eye liner. It can make a basic eye make-up look fully realized as it makes the eyes look subtle, sexy and elegant. In case your complexion is fair, try chocolate brown eye liner and not black.

7.  Eye shadow palette: To get the smoky-eye effect it is best to buy an eye shadow palette that atleast has three colors. A pale and shimmery shade to highlight the corners, dark shadow to create depth and medium shadow to wash over the lid. This palette will help you look stunning at every occasion.

8.  Lip color: The barely there lip color accentuates the look and gives you a confidence. It is important to choose the lip color that is both bar and boardroom appropriate and the one that makes you feel confident. You can choose from red to cherry to crimson to cinnamon to candy apple to neutrals keeping your complexion in mind.

With these beauty products you will never fail to look stunning and appropriate. You will always be oozing with confidence and sizzle on the floor.

Types of Employees You Will Find in Every Office

One of the biggest challenges of working in the corporate world is to deal with people. Nobody can deny the fact that no two people are the same, but when it comes to office there are some categories under which you can neatly categorize the employees. Here are few types of employees that you will commonly find in every office:

1.   The Believer: They are every employer’s dream and are committed, dedicated and absolutely love their job. This bunch of employees gives their heart and soul into their work and their loyalty keep them hooked to the organization. These employees can get the work done effortlessly by inspiring others.

2.   The Perfectionist: These employees create a fuss over the missing or extra punctuation marks and endlessly recheck the figures and facts in the presentation. They are overly dedicated to the work and often bear the brunt of criticism in the eye for perfection as others need to put their hundred percent.

3.   The Happy Humans: You will never hear any negative remark or talk about them. They are pretty comfortable about handling their work. These types of employees, even love to work on weekends. You will often find them saying, “It is no big deal to work on weekends”. They are favorites of employers and love the office environment to the core.

4.   The Gossiper: These employees love to gossip and when you hear some gossip in the office, thank these people. They absolutely love their job of gossiping and can go any length and breadth to get the latest gossips. These people are good at their work and know their job well.

5.   The Soldier: These are asset for any company. They are the most bankable types of employees. Just give them a task and consider that it is done. These types of employees stick around the same job for years. These types of employees are excellent team players but lack the leadership quality. Constant encouragement must be given to these employees to keep them motivated.

6.   The Idea Box: There are few employees in the office that have constant new ideas running through their mind. These employees love to take chances and kick-start new projects. This bunch of people loves to proactively push the innovative ideas and think differently. As they are busy visualizing things, they miss on the intricate and fine details.

7.   The Thirsty: These employees are desperate to be identified in the office. These people are often involved in networking with people they think will benefit them in times to come. These people also hop jobs frequently to climb up the organizational hierarchy.

8.   The Materialist: There are a few employees who work only for the salary. These employees are not interested in the work and lack the motivation to take the initiative. They rest in a comfortable position in the office just for the sake of salary that is needed to sustain. They do the least amount of work and leave the office premises as soon as the clock strikes the working hours end. To make this bunch of employees work, the secret is to link the performance to monetary benefits.

9.   The Techie: These types of the employees like to brag about their knowledge and often engage in conversations like the boss. These people are the store house of knowledge and have a large appetite for new things to learn. They are often centers of attraction at the workplace and people come to them to get a solution to their tech and professional values.

10.   The Clingers: These types of people are dependent and cannot proceed without clear instructions, positive reinforcement and ongoing communications. They are afraid of doing the things and thus ask for clarification till they are sure what and how it needs to be done.  These people don’t voice out their resentment as they have the constant fear of making people around them annoyed and angry. But they are an asset of the company as clingers are conscientious, reliable and loyal. 

So, when at work place do remember to deal differently with each set of employees to ensure productivity and harmonious atmosphere.